Written by Michael Halyard, LMFT, LPCC

Not all people get to be in a career—where the things that make you grow as a person also make you grow as a professional, and vice versa. For example, how many of you have learned something deeply profound in your personal life, perhaps even in your own therapy, and used the very same concept with a client the very next week.

I have spent nearly eight years on this elusive dream of getting these three letters: MFT. After being finished with of this, surely I will take sabbatical somewhere far away, in the woods somewhere, by a beach somewhere, somewhere far over that proverbial rainbow. But for now and looking back, I have to say I've been blessed with wonderful, supportive colleagues, therapists, and supervisors; many of whom I've met from Gaylesta. This isn't over-idealization, I'm mindful of my audience here, but I am quite impressed with the caliber and integrity, and goodness of my Gaylesta colleagues.

This process hasn’t exactly been without its difficulties. It’s been way up there with all the other big challenges of my life. Throughout this process I have been through the typical losses of every human-- losses of relationships, rethinking my dreams, and perhaps not as typical, keeping an eye on those all-important t-cells and having my future and identity reduced to a number.

I am a flawed individual, trying to make the most of what I have. But this is my so-called queer life in San Francisco the new millennium. I have survived this so far and my personal challenges have made me a better clinician. And moreover, I would argue that my effectiveness as a clinician has everything to do with the support I’ve received.

I’ve had about a dozen clinical supervisors at this point. Currently, I have three different ones for three different placements. They are about as different in personality as they are different in theoretical orientation, but have added depth to my work. But the support they give me has direct impact on the quality of care I am able to give my clients.

When I graduated in ’95, I had been so saturated with psychoanalytic theory that I questioned, and sometimes rejected what I had been indoctrinated into. Working with children in the foster care system has brought me full-circle in my professional development. Nothing better explains nor is more true that psychoanalytic theory when it comes to childhood and personality development. And although it is interesting to see how personality develops, it’s sad to see how events in early childhood, especially abandonment or failures in attachment, impacts, shapes, and forms personality real time.

Like clockwork, every so often I have a new understanding of how therapy works. There are so many clichés about this: making the unconscious conscious, personality reorganization, healing the inner child, learning what you didn’t get in childhood and giving it to yourself, providing the container, and so on. But this evolution of my understanding is so important—and parallels life-long growth and awareness. Likewise, with every year I’m that much more “tuned-in” about my own internal process.

Gaylesta is central to what us queer folk need as community. The organization is a container for the professionals themselves. All too often as I have seen we’re also in a field that feeds on its own—both individually and institutionally. One does not have to look further than the draconian practices of the licensing boards or the spider web pages of CAMFT magazine---not too different than the fallen pigeon being pecked to death by its peers.

Gaylesta has been such a refuge for me. I have thoroughly enjoyed the socials, learned from the educational forums, and especially enjoyed the board meetings. In looking back on these formative years, I feel I have been blessed with wonderful, supportive colleagues, therapists, and supervisors…In this sense Gaylesta has been instrumental in connecting me to those wonderful souls.

Friends and Colleagues, I salute you!

About the Author

I'm Michael Halyard,  a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC1333) and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT42122). I’ve been practicing in the Castro District of San Francisco since 2008.

Whether you’re stuck in your life, struggling with low self-esteem, having relationship problems, or suffering from anxiety, depression, or addiction, now is the perfect time to start therapy!

I have been practicing for more than twenty years, helping clients with problems like yours transcend those problems and live meaningful lives. Let me help you move forward.

www.sanfrancisco-psychotherapy.com
www.SFtherapy.com